Engelsk. Undersættelser. ... Eller dangelsk?

Transkript

1 Engelsk... Eller dangelsk? Undersættelser A lovely, slim girl En lovlig slem pige A man with a future En mand med et futtog A woman got killed in the staircase En kvinde blev kildet i stærekassen Creedence Clearwater Revival Kristian klarvand fra Vejle Do you have a husband at home? Har du et husorkester derhjemme? He did'nt know who was the composer, but it was definitely not Cole Porter Han vidste ikke hvad der var i poserne, men det var bestemt ikke kolde portere He drives in a bad car Han driver i et badekar He followed a bad road for a while Han blev forlovet med en baderotte fra Fårevejle He had a bad hangover Han havde et bad i Hannover He reads life Han redder Leif He was born in a little town Han blev båret i et lille tov He was the lucky owner of a hankerchief Han var lukket inde i ovnen på et hangarskib He went faster Han vendte faster He went peaceful round the corner Han gik pissefuld rundt i kornet He went up and down the staircase Han vendte op og ned på stærekassen He would not borrow me his handkerchief Han ville ikke låne mig sit hangarskib How did you sleep in the far west Hvordan sidder slipset i din fars vest How nice! Hov, en nisse!

2 I have a brother-in-law Jeg har en bror i lågen I have been sitting here chatting with your sister-in-law Jeg har siddet og tjattet din søster på lårene In that case I will stand up and die I den kasse vil jeg stå op og dø It does'nt matter Et dusin måtter It was long ago in the deep South Der var langt at gå i den dybe sovs Liverpool and Manchester Leverpostej på manchetterne Maggie is a beautiful woman living in the town. She is very dear to me Maggie er en dejlig dame, der bor i byen. Hun er alt for dyr for mig Mary has a diary Mary har diarré My brother is anxious Min bror er en ansjos My father is nice Min far er nisse One suppose, please En suppepose, tak Repeat after me: My wife is 30 and I'm 32 Dane: My wife is dirty and I'm dirty too Somewhere a voice was calling Sommervejr i Vojens og Kolding St George killed the dragon Skt Georg kildede dragonen Suddenly the pilot found himself in the dessert Pludselig befandt piloten sig i desserten Sweethart is wonderful Svigerfar er en vandrefugl Table of contents Bordets glæder The bad car went too fast Badekarret ventede trofast The gate was shut Geden var skudt There were flowers in the garden Det var en flov en for garden To be or not to be, that's the question To bier og nok to bier, den ene blev kvæstet Tower of Big Ben

3 Tov om begge ben We talk together Vi taler til geder With a sad feeling he said goodbye to the old servant Mens han sad og filede, sagde han farvel til den gamle servante Your sister looks sweet Din søster lugter af sved Oversættelse på højt niveau En besøgende amerikansk prædikant (P) står på talerstolen i Indre Missions forsamlingshus, og en noget uerfaren og nervøs tolk (T) står parat til at oversætte de vise ord: P: My dear friends T: Mine dyre venner P: Welcome to this honourable house T: Velkommen til dette horrible hus P: I have come here tonight to give you a message T: Jeg er kommet her i aften for at give jer massage P: A message that will make you feel warm and calm inside T: En massage, som vil få jer til at føle jer varme og kvalme indeni P: I want you to hold hands and feel his sweet love lift you up T: Jeg vil, at I skal holde hænder og føle sveden love at løfte jer op P: Tonight I want to tell you about a mans call to life T: I aften vil jeg fortælle jer om en mand kaldet Leif P: His father was a carpenter T: Hans far var billakerer P: As a boy he liked to watch his mother in the kitchen T: Som barn kunne han lide at vaske sin mor i køkkenet P: Finally a man, he went out in the world to explore there T: Til slut, som mand, tog han ud i verden for at eksplodere P: Who was this important man? T: Hvem var denne impotente mand? P: Who went in desert for 40 days? T: Som ventede på dessert i 40 dage? P: Who gave us the sun and the moon, the burning wind and sent the rain to us? T: Som gav os solen og månen og brændevinen og sendte regningen til os? P: He helped the fishermen when they caught the fish T: Han hjalp fiskerne, når de blev kåde af fisk P: He loved everyone T: Han elskede med alle P: And Moses followed him T: Og musene fulgte ham

4 P: And we too must follow him T: Og vi to må følge ham P: We must give other the message T: Vi må give andre en massage P: But we must have money, cash to help us T: Men vi må have Johnny Cash til at hjælpe os P: I will send round this collection plate T: Jeg vil sende min pladekollektion rundt P: So please give us all your money that you can afford T: Så giv os venligst alle jeres penge til en ny Ford P: And may God Bless You All T: Og må Gud blæse på jer alle Dangelsk - Danskere og andre uskyldige taler engelsk I am in the beginning of my period (Marianne Jelved) Screw down your expectations (Richard Møller Nielsen til verdenspressen) We wanted to play with long balls (Dansk landsholdsspiller) Two chocolate balls, please (Biker-Jens i bagerforretning i USA) The prick over the I (Jytte Hilden) Lægepraksis i Rom: Specialist in women and other diseases Vaskeri i Rom: Ladies leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time Hotel i Tokyo: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please to not read notis Menukort i schweizisk restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for Bar i Tokyo: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts Hotel i Rumænien: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable Hotelelevator i Jugoslavien: To move the cabin push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of a wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order Hotel i Athen: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between 9 am and 11 am daily Hotel i Japan: You are expected to take advantage of the chambermaid Vaskeri i Bangkok: Drop your trousers here for the best results

5 Skrædder på Rhodos: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in Strict rotation Kastrup lufthavn: We take your bags and send them in all directions Cocktail-bar i Norge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar Til en tjener på en engelsk restaurant: "I would like to pay the building" Dansker på en engelsk pub: "Can I borrow the toilet?" Dansker på vej ud fra toget i Underground i London: "Let's get out in a fart!" Hørt på lejr: Please don't clean your dishes in the shower. Use the snake outside instead En dansk turist forsøgte at krydse gaden i New York og var nær blevet mejet ned af flere biler. En politimand havde set det hele og råbte: - Did you come here to die? Turisten råbte tilbage: No, I came yesterday Et hotel i Beijing havde fået trykt følgende advarsel på deres sandaler (som de udleverede til deres gæster): DO NOT WEAR IN PUBIC AREA En dansk advokat var på ferie i London og var ude i byen med nogle venner om aftenen. Da de skulle hjem, tog de en taxi, og advokaten skulle sidde foran ved siden af chaufføren. Advokaten åbnede døren til højre og konstaterede: Oh yes, the rat is on the other side here in England Dansker på engelsk restaurant: I would like to have a bloody beef please. Efter en lille pause siger tjeneren: And maybe you want it with some fucking potatoes? En dansker spurgte en englænder: "Do you have a smoke?" - hvorpå englænderen svarede høfligt, men ironisk: I'm sorry, but I don't cigarette" En dansk familie med engelske middagsgæster: "We serve fishingballs to dinner" Engelsk gæst: "I didn't know the fish had balls!" Svensk forretningsmand: I am a man who likes to have my balls in the air "Thank you for the mess" (Den norske statsminister efter en gudstjeneste i Brasilien) I thank you from the heart of my bottom Dear friends, we are the same as before, although we have lost our pricks (Da den svenske Götabanken blev til Gota Bank) Dansker, som blev stoppet af engelsk politi: Excuse me, what is the fart limit? Amerikansk "far" til familiens danske au pair-pige: Do you want to use the rest room before we drive cross State?" Pigen: "No, I can do it in the car" Dansker til en skotsk tjener efter forgæves at have gennemsøgt morgenbuffeten: "Do you have round-pieces in the hole taken?" En dansker kom til at fyre en ordentlig bøvser af på en engelsk pub. Folk kiggede lidt underligt på ham, og hans respons var rimelig højlydt: "To rape is not a crime" Ved indvielsen af olie- og gasmesse i Norge: This is the biggest mess I have ever seen Dansker på tyrkisk bar: Tomorrow I want to go to the bitch with an umbrella

6 Let at misforstå - En måske ikke helt stueren vittighed.. A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine!" retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we do not talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talking abouta sexa? I am a justa telling my frienda how to spella "Mississippi". Tosproget - Udtryk der kan forstås på både dansk og engelsk - men nok ikke helt på samme måde : Agent Under Fire Bad Toilet Boghandler For rent God mad I fart Save files Tyre lever JNbassen.co.cc